"It Is Not Good That Man or Woman Should Be Alone" (Genesis 2:18)
Exploring the Nature of This Divine Pronouncement for Those Who Are LGBTQ+
A Hearth Fireside led by Bob Rees
In the creation account, Elohim (“the gods”) pronounce creation "good" seven times. Only once do they declare something "not good”— that neither man nor woman should be alone. Before any directives were given, the first thing named as lacking in paradise was intimate companionship.
We are created by our Heavenly Parents to have a deeply-implanted desire, even a primal longing to find another person who fulfills our need for wholeness, for oneness, for the special kind of intimate companionship and togetherness that helps us feel complete, to feel as our divine parents feel—as one. We are designed to fall in love, to be drawn to another person with whom we feel a magnetic attraction, and to cleave unto him or her. In finding such a person, we are counseled to marry, love, and cherish that person as we build a moral life together and work towards its becoming eternal.
The ancient Greeks had different words for the various kinds of love humans are capable of expressing and experiencing. Each opens a different window on the divine pronouncement that we not be alone
Philia is the love of deep friendship, the chosen companionship of brotherly and sisterly affection.
Eros is the special kind of passionate and romantic desire for intimate spiritual, emotional, sensual, and physical bonding with another person. It is the pull toward such an other that the creation story seems to place at the heart of being fully human.
Agape is the selfless, unconditional Christ-like love that seeks the good of the other and of the community. It is the love our Heavenly Parents feel and extend to every one of their children.
Alongside these three core formulations of love stands nomos: the socially and politically constructed behaviors, customs, and standards that represent the expression of these kinds of love, especially eros. When a person's romantic and erotic desires and expression do not conform to a community's nomos expectations, what, then, is the community’s moral framework for addressing the divine declaration that “it is not good for them to be alone”?
Join us as Bob Rees leads a conversation about what all of this means for us and for our LGBTQ+ brothers, sisters, and family members and the communal covenant we make to love others as ourselves and to consider the least among us as if they were Christ himself?
Questions to guide and inspire our evening together:
If being alone (i.e., without at least the possibility of pursuing a deep spiritual and physical bonding) is the one thing God called "not good" in the creation story, what can a community require and expect of those who are faithful in every other way, including fully abiding by the standards of philia and agape, but forbidden from emotionally, and physically expressing eros in the only ways that fit their God-created psyches and beings—and are therefore destined to be alone in the way God says it is not good for them to be?
Is the longing for a companion (eros) in a legal marriage a gift to be honored for everyone, or only for some? What would it mean if our Heavenly Parents planted a desire, the opportunity for which They never intended to be fulfilled?
Come with an open heart and mind, Come with your own questions. All are welcome at the Hearth.
Bob Rees is the editor, co-editor, or author of numerous studies of Latter-day Saint theology and literature. His most recent publications include Imagining and Reimagining the Restoration (2025) and the soon to be published Continuing the Dialogue: Celebrating Ten Masterpieces by Eugene England (2026). Currently he is co-editing (with Darlene Young) two poetry anthologies, one on Joseph Smith and the other on the Temple. Bob has served as an Institute teacher, bishop, stake high counselor, and a counselor in the presidency of the Baltic States mission. Currently, he and his wife, Gloria, teach the Come Follow Me Lessons in the Novato Ward.